How to Relax Before Sex - No Pressure or Expectation

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It is a common issue for many before having sex with their partner, putting too much pressure on themselves to achieve a standard so highly unachievable you are almost certain to fall short. Whether it is because you genuinely believe that sex is always as it is performed in porn or you feel as though your body doesn’t match those of the models you see - often in highly edited and touched up images - you should remember one thing and that is sex is a unique and personal experience.

In this post, we want to help you to learn how to calm down before sex so as your body is in a relaxed state so as both you and your partner can enjoy each other. The calmer you are beforehand, the easier it is to relax during sex which will help to prolong and intensify the experience. Remember, you shouldn’t focus on the destination rather than the journey itself.

How to Relax During Sex

5 Ways to Relax Before Sex

1 - Have a Bath or Shower

If you know that you are going to have sex with your partner, a good way to calm your body and prepare you for your session is to take a hot bath or shower...maybe even with your other half? A hot bath relaxes you by increasing the body temperature and relaxing the muscles, which is exactly why it is also recommended before going to bed if you have trouble sleeping, due to the relaxed state you are left in. If your partner joins you it makes for a fantastic piece of foreplay, encouraging the pair of you to wash one another’s body. Don’t underestimate the power of sensually washing your partner as skin touches skin. Don’t be surprised if you don’t make it out of the tub or shower if you both get lost in the moment.

2 - Have a Drink

There isn’t anything wrong with having a little drink of your favorite adult beverage to help calm your nerves if you do suffer from sexual anxiety, but make sure not to become too reliant on the practice. Sharing a glass of wine isn’t only relaxing but is equally as romantic, which can naturally lead from one thing to another. One of the effects of alcohol is the benefit of increased confidence, but be careful because too much might harm your performance.

3 - Watch Porn Together

No doubt you have watched porn on your own? Most people have and it is nothing to be ashamed why not make it something that you do together? It makes for a great way to drop a strong hint about something you would like to try, as well as seeing how your partner reacts. Watching porn encourages open communication about what turns each other on, which is one of the best means of how to relax during sex. You can also make it a game and see how long you can last before you cannot keep your hands off each other...we bet it won’t be long!

4 - Get a Room

Do you live with other people and find privacy difficult to come by? If so, this likely is not helping your cause of relaxing sexually as you can never quite be sure of who is listening and, god forbid, who might walk in on you. All of that going through your head means that you can never truly enjoy having sex, which most certainly is something to be enjoyed! We highly recommend getting yourself a room for the night at a hotel, because everyone knows that hotel sex is the best kind of sex. You need not worry about anyone walking in and the best part is that you don’t have to worry about cleaning the sheets afterwards. Be as experimental and loud as you want (because let’s face it, your neighbors aren’t sleeping, either) with your partner.

5 - Morning Sex

What is the best way to start the day? That’s right, by having sex. It’s a favorite hobby for many couples, married and otherwise, especially on those lazy Sunday mornings when you are more inclined to have a lay-in in the morning. Much the same as having a hot bath, your body’s temperature is raised in bed after waking up from a good night’s sleep. Waking up feeling relaxed, added to feeling your skin on your partner’s (make sure you don’t go to bed wearing pajamas the night before) make for a surprisingly erotic experience. Run your hands up and down each other’s bodies under the sheets and allow whatever happens to happen. Afterwards, you can head downstairs and grab some breakfast after working up an appetite!

How to Stay Calm During Sex

One of the most common reasons why people do not stay calm during sex is because they focus too much on having an orgasm or making their partner orgasm. The first thing to remember is that, while orgasming does feel amazing, there is a lot more to sex than how you finish. Sex isn’t even just penetrative, with foreplay certainly making up and important part of it. Clear your mind and enjoy what feels good, whether that is the touch of your man’s hand upon your breast, the feel of your woman stroking various parts of your body or any of those little things that turn you on.

When you relax sexually and enjoy the moment with your girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife, you will find yourself enjoying the best love-making session of your life. Here at, our online community champions open communication between our members, with like-minded singles signing up to meet an ideal partner with whom they can fall in love and enjoy those intimate moments with.